The Disdained Child

The Disdained Child
The Child of Jealousy and Hate
By: Julian Javier
Date: May 12, 2011 @ 10:47PM GMT +8
 

I hate you… I hate them… I hate the world…

 

Sick and tired…
Empty and dried…

 

A child born of jealousy that became hate…
A bastard that carries a another’s namesake…
One who grew up with everyone’s hate…
The disturbed one hated for his namesake…
The one born of a different mother…
The one born of a different father…

 

The unwanted… The black sheep…
The scape goat.. The misjudged…

 

I am angry…
So called siblings hate me…
So called family doesn’t like me…
So called friends always betray me…
So called lovers derogate me…

 

for all i know, they all want me dead…
for all i know, they all want a platter set with my head…
for all i know, they want to spread my ground guts on a bread…
feed it to dogs which are stray bred…
and wash their hands with my blood that’s crimson red…

 

fuck it! i don’t care and I won’t argue…
I won’t argue though I immensely hate them too…
I want to strangle them all too till they turn blue…
and massacre them all intently and violently like a rampaging grue…

 

But i won’t do that…
I can’t do that…
How could i possibly do that…
Their my loved ones, it’s a fact, and i hate that…

 

Though I hated…

 

Before i hated…
I tried to love…
Even if I hated…
I still loved…
Though i hated…
I just need to be loved…
Though i hated…
I am just looking for your love…

 

Why can’t they give me something so simple?
To give love to a brother and family member of their own flesh and blood…
Why can’t they give me something so trivial?
To give love to this friend and lover called me…

 

Just accept me for who i am that’s all i have asked…
For in your hate all my life i had basked…
For all this time i have seen through you who is masked…
Be with me and accept me, is that too much ask?

 

Now my mind is split in two…
One says to keep on hating you…
One says to keep on loving you…
My mind is in chaos because of what you showed me and do…

 

You don’t understand me…
You try to control me…
You stab me behind my back and disdain me…
You can’t even simply respect me being me…

 

I hate you… i hate them…
i hate myself too… i hate the the world and what you all do…

 

I am the unaccepted, the unwanted
I am the hate child…

 

Why? I know.
Because you think our mother loved me more than she did you.
Because you think my father fathered me better than your father who fathered you.
Because you think our father loved me more than he did you.
Because you think my mother mothered me better than your mother who mothered you.
Because you think I’m better than you and you can’t accept it.
Because you can’t stand that I have become a man.
Or maybe because you are just that childish.

 

You’re wrong from what I see.
You’re spiteful mind is clouded with envy.
They all loved us equally.
You just refused to see.
No one is better than others.
That’s how they see us, our mothers and our fathers.

 

Though I do some things better than you…
It doesn’t mean that I am better than you…
I have my specialties and you have yours too…

 

I loved you though you hated me.
I respected you though you always have belittled me.

 

Don’t worry I don’t hate you completely for what you did to me.
I just hate you that much, so don’t misunderstand me.
Don’t worry I understand you completely.
This hate I feel for thee is nothing compared to the love and respect that I show thee.
It’s not a ruse you see.
Though I hate thee I still love thee.

 

It’s hard to understand i know.
Let’s reconcile when we meet in hell down below.

 

Losing Grip

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Treating Women…

Treating Women…
A Real Man’s Paradigm – A Women’s Day Special
By: Julian Javier
Date: February 27, 2011 @ 2:18PM GTM +8

A woman is the color in your world,
that you have to always remember.
So, you should look out for her,
treat her with respect,
stand beside her,
defend her,
and protect her.
Like how a loving father is to a daughter.
Like how a loving son is to a mother.
As her man you are a guide and also the weight on that colorful world of her’s.
As a man you are responsible for her.

 

Be understanding and extend your patience in every way you can…
For a woman at times has thoughts confusing for any man…
Always remember, with directions in a haze,
a woman’s mind is like a maze…
With all the walls changing always…
Any man may find it hard to understand…
But a real man will find out ways to understand.
With this in mind, always be there for her…
Always there to support and guide her…

 

Always make her laugh and make her smile…
And you’ll see her shine when you see her wonderful smile.
Like Cleopatra cruising in the river Nile..
She shall shine beautiful and perfect every mile, in every style.
There’s no better sight than seeing a woman happy wearing her perfect smile.

 

Be sweet when you’re together.
Always show your care and love for her.
Make her feel that she is the only one you see…
that you’re the only one for her…
that you both are meant to be.
And make her feel that she has all your loyalty.

 

Be gentle when you caress her…
Never be harsh when you touch her…
Handle with care! That’s the policy you should follow when your with her…
Treat them like a dove when you hold them…
With your hand as gentle as a feather when you caress them…

 

Be passionate when you love her…
Never be dull when you’re romancing her…
Let her feel your warmth and you’ll feel her tender surrender.
Make her feel your love with your every kiss…
Make her feel your care when you caress her while in the moment of bliss…
Be the man, the dream, her one true Adonis.

 

Make her grasp the fact that you always wanna be with her…
To always make her smile and hear her laughter…
Make her grasp the fact that you wanna grow old with her…
To always be there in sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer…
Make her grasp the fact that your love is eternal for her…
To have her understand that you’ll always keep the fire of your love for her…

 

Treat women with utmost love and respect…
Never be like rabid beasts and never treat them with disrespect…
Men should understand that women are not only tools for pleasure and sex…
That we are no longer cave men who hunts tyrannosaurus-rex…

 

Anyway we put it…
We all came from a woman…
We got our game from a woman…
So, why should anyone hate our women…?
Why should anyone take advantage of our women…?
Why should anyone hurt our women…?
We as men with honor should love and respect our women…
The way they deserve to be.

 

Painting: Woman with a Parasol
By: Claude Monet
Year: 1875

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