Helter Skelter

Helter Skelter
A Helter-Skelter of Power
By: Julian Javier
Date: December 10, 2011 @ 1:34AM
 

Eyes wide open with unobstructed vision…
Blood coursing through my veins in hasty progression…
Limbs aided with graceful precision…
Senses dignified with foretelling intuition…

 

Shrouded in a mist of undaunted audacity…
Overwhelmed by a tidal wave of incalculable vitality…
With courage to overcome fear and accept reality…
Navigating the depths of the oceans of sane insanity…

 

Feeling no more pain, no more agony…
A hint of sought for immortality…
Caught in a moment of absolutely elated frenzy…
Burning with rage cradled in tenacity…

 

The mind clear of all distractions…
Comprehending deeper than the deepest of the earth’s vast oceans…
Discerning truth amidst a haze of serpentine delusions…
Unwavering and confident with chosen resolutions…

 

Determined to achieve anything…
Resolved to start from the very beginning…
By all means necessary amidst turmoil persevering…
With enduring demeanor to conclude with a concrete ending…

 

With such said gifts…
An insatiable gaping rift…
A relentless force carrying sanity adrift…

 

Into a whirlpool of discomfort and distress…
Beneath the depths of the seas of madness…

 

A soul fallen…
By sharp gripping talons!
Hastily stolen!

 

Engulfed in a deep trench of dreadful madness…
An empty husk…
walking…
talking….
yet dead and lifeless…

 

Caught in the apogee of interim blithe…
Amidst the shelter of madness’ light…
Intoxicated within insanity’s frenzied plight…

 

Smuggled deep into the eternal depths of harassing torment…
Sentient to the subject of the coming, lasting, and dreadful lament…
Amidst the most scenic and momentous of fate’s events…

 

Knowing what the chosen endeavor begets…
Conquering what lies ahead before it was beset…
Accepting fate before it was painstakingly set…
Never harboring any sort of grievous regret…

 

A Dark Rift Awaits


 

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Fallen

Fallen
A Tragic Story…
By: Julian Corvinus Javier
Date: October 24, 2011 @ 4:53PM GMT +8
 

Stricken down smitten…
A soul torn to utter ruin…

 

Kicked out to rejection…
Never again to find redemption…

 

Betrayed but marked as the betrayer…
Condemned to be damned forever…

 

Cast out to chaos…
Banished to be lost…

 

Exiled to pure darkness…
Destined to be devoured by the crazed madness…

 

Never again to find peace…
Forever never ever to be at ease…

 

Hauling too heavy a burden…
Amidst the plains of torment…

 

With limbs crippled and broken…
Struggling to stand back up and walk again…
With wings black and broken…
Striving to be able to fly again…

 

Always hoping and constantly praying…
That it’s all but a dream that’s slowly fleeting…
To soon wake up with black wings spread wide through the skies soaring…
Glimpses of light and hope inkling while slowly dissipating…

 

With life unending yet inside slowly dying…
Bound to the land of the living…
Amidst pain, turmoil, and constant suffering…
Hoping and praying for a saviour that’s never coming…

 

The Fallen


 

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A Sudden Rush

A Sudden Rush
An Unorthodox Choka Poem of a Euphoric Torment…
A Story of a Soul who found an Interim Happiness, Slowly Fading Away…
By: Julian Corvinus Javier
Date: October 1, 2011 @ 8:16PM GMT +8
 

Rushing through my veins…
A torrent of vehemence…

 

My pain dissipates…
A renewed vigour once more…

 

Keeping me alive…
In the moment of pure bliss…

 

And within myself…
Fusing with my ebb and flow…
Swarming my senses…
A deluge of ideas…
A frenzied influx of thoughts…

 

My spirit reveals…
What I can’t see through the haze…
Clear moments, so ecstatic…
My soul slowly oozing out…
Every drop of life within…

 

Through all provisions…
Moments of infinity…
All vain facades..
And interim nirvana…
I’m flourishing through torment…

 

Calmly I’m fading…
Converging with euphoria…
Through life’s destined end…

 


 

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Post Murum Insania

Post Murum Insania (Behind the Walls of Madness)
My First Latin Poem…
By: Julian Corvinus Javier
Date: September 19, 2011 @ 12:57PM GMT +8

Original Latin:
Post murum insania…
I manantem cruore fluens lente…
Pugnare enim mens sana…
Virtus infinita versus obiectum immobilis…
Chaos sparsa…
Cum fractis animis…
Cum fractis cordis…
Pulsans ad ostium mortis…
Est somnium inaccessus…
Post murum insania…

 

Translated English:
Behind the walls of madness…
My blood drips flowing slowly…
Fighting for my sanity…
An unstoppable force crashing towards an immovable object…
Chaos scatters…
With broken minds…
With broken hearts…
Knocking on death’s doorway…
Unreachable is the dream…
Behind the walls of madness…

 

Madness

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The Disdained Child

The Disdained Child
The Child of Jealousy and Hate
By: Julian Javier
Date: May 12, 2011 @ 10:47PM GMT +8
 

I hate you… I hate them… I hate the world…

 

Sick and tired…
Empty and dried…

 

A child born of jealousy that became hate…
A bastard that carries a another’s namesake…
One who grew up with everyone’s hate…
The disturbed one hated for his namesake…
The one born of a different mother…
The one born of a different father…

 

The unwanted… The black sheep…
The scape goat.. The misjudged…

 

I am angry…
So called siblings hate me…
So called family doesn’t like me…
So called friends always betray me…
So called lovers derogate me…

 

for all i know, they all want me dead…
for all i know, they all want a platter set with my head…
for all i know, they want to spread my ground guts on a bread…
feed it to dogs which are stray bred…
and wash their hands with my blood that’s crimson red…

 

fuck it! i don’t care and I won’t argue…
I won’t argue though I immensely hate them too…
I want to strangle them all too till they turn blue…
and massacre them all intently and violently like a rampaging grue…

 

But i won’t do that…
I can’t do that…
How could i possibly do that…
Their my loved ones, it’s a fact, and i hate that…

 

Though I hated…

 

Before i hated…
I tried to love…
Even if I hated…
I still loved…
Though i hated…
I just need to be loved…
Though i hated…
I am just looking for your love…

 

Why can’t they give me something so simple?
To give love to a brother and family member of their own flesh and blood…
Why can’t they give me something so trivial?
To give love to this friend and lover called me…

 

Just accept me for who i am that’s all i have asked…
For in your hate all my life i had basked…
For all this time i have seen through you who is masked…
Be with me and accept me, is that too much ask?

 

Now my mind is split in two…
One says to keep on hating you…
One says to keep on loving you…
My mind is in chaos because of what you showed me and do…

 

You don’t understand me…
You try to control me…
You stab me behind my back and disdain me…
You can’t even simply respect me being me…

 

I hate you… i hate them…
i hate myself too… i hate the the world and what you all do…

 

I am the unaccepted, the unwanted
I am the hate child…

 

Why? I know.
Because you think our mother loved me more than she did you.
Because you think my father fathered me better than your father who fathered you.
Because you think our father loved me more than he did you.
Because you think my mother mothered me better than your mother who mothered you.
Because you think I’m better than you and you can’t accept it.
Because you can’t stand that I have become a man.
Or maybe because you are just that childish.

 

You’re wrong from what I see.
You’re spiteful mind is clouded with envy.
They all loved us equally.
You just refused to see.
No one is better than others.
That’s how they see us, our mothers and our fathers.

 

Though I do some things better than you…
It doesn’t mean that I am better than you…
I have my specialties and you have yours too…

 

I loved you though you hated me.
I respected you though you always have belittled me.

 

Don’t worry I don’t hate you completely for what you did to me.
I just hate you that much, so don’t misunderstand me.
Don’t worry I understand you completely.
This hate I feel for thee is nothing compared to the love and respect that I show thee.
It’s not a ruse you see.
Though I hate thee I still love thee.

 

It’s hard to understand i know.
Let’s reconcile when we meet in hell down below.

 

Losing Grip

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The Streets of Pain

Streets of Pain
A Dream of an Afternoon Walk in the Land of Torment and Turmoil
A Chōka Poem about the Land of Torment and Turmoil
By: Julian Javier
Date: May 12, 2011 @ 3:41PM GMT +8
 

Dessicated earth
Burning my feet as I pace

 

Winds that burn my skin
My sight blurred by a mirage

 

The scent of decay
I’m breathing difficultly

 

Eyes of the unseen
Watching, waiting for the kill

 

As if I am stalked
Like prey to a predator

 

Sorrow and torment
Screams of terror and anguish

 

From the horizon
A sea of red-hot liquid

 

What sea winds carries
Wails from the souls of the damned
Pain, gnashing of teeth

 

Suffering, Fire, and Turmoil
Will this be my future too?

 

It's fun here! Just like disneyland!

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Chronicle of a Suicide

Chronicle of a Suicide
A fool’s suicide chronicle…
By: Julian Javier
Date: May 11, 2011 @ 8:52PM GMT +8
 

[The Fool]
Deprive me of light and of hope.
Now, come and give me a nice rope.
knot it into a noose.
make sure it’s not lose.
take a pick.
get a brick.
tie it on the other end.
say my last words before my life will end.
now get the brick and throw.
to the river located down below.

 

***woosh!***

 

[The Fool]
whoa!

 

[The Clock]
…1,2,3…

 

***SPLASH!***

 

[The Fool]
Wow, I’m sinking so fast and i’m choking.
My neck giving my lungs difficulty in breathing.
Finally, I’m dying.
It’s the end of my life’s long suffering.
I had a tough life never had a chance to be great.
I broke my parents’ hearts.
I lost half the part of my heart.
It’s all my fault anyway, so fuck it.
I wish I had a chance to change things but had no luck at it.

 

[The Invisible Guardian]
YOU HAVE A CHANCE BUT YOU THREW IT AWAY JUST NOW!

 

[The Fool]
what? huh? who was that voice?
Oh no, did i make a mistake???


wait! I’m dying!
NO! wait, somebody help me!
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

 

***everything went black***

 

[The Warden]
Ah! Fresh Meat!
*laughs sinisterly*

 

*the fool awakes*

 

[The Fool]
where am I? it’s so hot in here that i’m burning!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

 

[The Warden]
You’re in the plains of hell. in front of you are its gates.

 

[The Fool]
What the? hell?

 

[The Warden]
come with me!
*laughs sinisterly*
*drags the fool by the neck*

 

[The Fool]
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME GO!!! I DON’T WANT THIS!

 

[The Warden]
BUT YOU’RE ALREADY IN IT!!!
*throws the Fool into the river of the dead*
DIE you foolish man! oh, wait… i forgot, you cannot die here!
*laughs sinisterly*

 

[The Narrator]
And so The Fool deceived by his own ignorance suffered eternally…
He thought he could escape with death from reality…
Forever he burned wishing to die intently…
But sadly, he doesn’t… for his suffering is eternal and unending…
He exchanged his life that he thought was suffering for even more suffering…
Beyond redemption… Beyond Healing…
The man suffered amidst the land of tormenting…

 

Ending Haiku recited as the scene ends:

 

“The river carries…
Wails from the souls of the damned…
Eternal torment…”

 

Let's learn how to knot a noose! =)

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