Fallen

Fallen
A Tragic Story…
By: Julian Corvinus Javier
Date: October 24, 2011 @ 4:53PM GMT +8
 

Stricken down smitten…
A soul torn to utter ruin…

 

Kicked out to rejection…
Never again to find redemption…

 

Betrayed but marked as the betrayer…
Condemned to be damned forever…

 

Cast out to chaos…
Banished to be lost…

 

Exiled to pure darkness…
Destined to be devoured by the crazed madness…

 

Never again to find peace…
Forever never ever to be at ease…

 

Hauling too heavy a burden…
Amidst the plains of torment…

 

With limbs crippled and broken…
Struggling to stand back up and walk again…
With wings black and broken…
Striving to be able to fly again…

 

Always hoping and constantly praying…
That it’s all but a dream that’s slowly fleeting…
To soon wake up with black wings spread wide through the skies soaring…
Glimpses of light and hope inkling while slowly dissipating…

 

With life unending yet inside slowly dying…
Bound to the land of the living…
Amidst pain, turmoil, and constant suffering…
Hoping and praying for a saviour that’s never coming…

 

The Fallen


 

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The Exile

The Exile
Thoughts in Chaos
By: Julian Javier
Date: June 2, 2011 @ 9:45PM GMT +8

Thoughts…
All in chaos…
Focus…
Into confusion lost…

 

Unable to find his center…
In his conscience, light fails to enter…
Darkness beginning to conquer…
His reason starts to falter…

 

Cast into oblivion…
Exiled beyond redemption…
Forced into a life of seclusion…
A life of abnegation…

 

Abhorred and rejected…
Putrid and polluted…
Lost and distorted…
Crazed and demented…

 

His heart suffering forever in constant agony…
The exiled one walks the earth alone for all eternity…
His mind in constant chaos; absent of all harmony…
Crossing the plains of insanity…

 

The Exile


 

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Conquest

Conquest
A Tanka Poem about Conquest
By: Julian Javier
Date: May 16, 2011 @ 3:44PM GMT +8
 

Marching to conquer…
Sounds of weapons of warfare…
Deafening my ears…
Putrid stench of rotting flesh…
And wails in pandemonium…

 

In Flames they Burn


 

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The Disdained Child

The Disdained Child
The Child of Jealousy and Hate
By: Julian Javier
Date: May 12, 2011 @ 10:47PM GMT +8
 

I hate you… I hate them… I hate the world…

 

Sick and tired…
Empty and dried…

 

A child born of jealousy that became hate…
A bastard that carries a another’s namesake…
One who grew up with everyone’s hate…
The disturbed one hated for his namesake…
The one born of a different mother…
The one born of a different father…

 

The unwanted… The black sheep…
The scape goat.. The misjudged…

 

I am angry…
So called siblings hate me…
So called family doesn’t like me…
So called friends always betray me…
So called lovers derogate me…

 

for all i know, they all want me dead…
for all i know, they all want a platter set with my head…
for all i know, they want to spread my ground guts on a bread…
feed it to dogs which are stray bred…
and wash their hands with my blood that’s crimson red…

 

fuck it! i don’t care and I won’t argue…
I won’t argue though I immensely hate them too…
I want to strangle them all too till they turn blue…
and massacre them all intently and violently like a rampaging grue…

 

But i won’t do that…
I can’t do that…
How could i possibly do that…
Their my loved ones, it’s a fact, and i hate that…

 

Though I hated…

 

Before i hated…
I tried to love…
Even if I hated…
I still loved…
Though i hated…
I just need to be loved…
Though i hated…
I am just looking for your love…

 

Why can’t they give me something so simple?
To give love to a brother and family member of their own flesh and blood…
Why can’t they give me something so trivial?
To give love to this friend and lover called me…

 

Just accept me for who i am that’s all i have asked…
For in your hate all my life i had basked…
For all this time i have seen through you who is masked…
Be with me and accept me, is that too much ask?

 

Now my mind is split in two…
One says to keep on hating you…
One says to keep on loving you…
My mind is in chaos because of what you showed me and do…

 

You don’t understand me…
You try to control me…
You stab me behind my back and disdain me…
You can’t even simply respect me being me…

 

I hate you… i hate them…
i hate myself too… i hate the the world and what you all do…

 

I am the unaccepted, the unwanted
I am the hate child…

 

Why? I know.
Because you think our mother loved me more than she did you.
Because you think my father fathered me better than your father who fathered you.
Because you think our father loved me more than he did you.
Because you think my mother mothered me better than your mother who mothered you.
Because you think I’m better than you and you can’t accept it.
Because you can’t stand that I have become a man.
Or maybe because you are just that childish.

 

You’re wrong from what I see.
You’re spiteful mind is clouded with envy.
They all loved us equally.
You just refused to see.
No one is better than others.
That’s how they see us, our mothers and our fathers.

 

Though I do some things better than you…
It doesn’t mean that I am better than you…
I have my specialties and you have yours too…

 

I loved you though you hated me.
I respected you though you always have belittled me.

 

Don’t worry I don’t hate you completely for what you did to me.
I just hate you that much, so don’t misunderstand me.
Don’t worry I understand you completely.
This hate I feel for thee is nothing compared to the love and respect that I show thee.
It’s not a ruse you see.
Though I hate thee I still love thee.

 

It’s hard to understand i know.
Let’s reconcile when we meet in hell down below.

 

Losing Grip

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The Streets of Pain

Streets of Pain
A Dream of an Afternoon Walk in the Land of Torment and Turmoil
A Chōka Poem about the Land of Torment and Turmoil
By: Julian Javier
Date: May 12, 2011 @ 3:41PM GMT +8
 

Dessicated earth
Burning my feet as I pace

 

Winds that burn my skin
My sight blurred by a mirage

 

The scent of decay
I’m breathing difficultly

 

Eyes of the unseen
Watching, waiting for the kill

 

As if I am stalked
Like prey to a predator

 

Sorrow and torment
Screams of terror and anguish

 

From the horizon
A sea of red-hot liquid

 

What sea winds carries
Wails from the souls of the damned
Pain, gnashing of teeth

 

Suffering, Fire, and Turmoil
Will this be my future too?

 

It's fun here! Just like disneyland!

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Chronicle of a Suicide

Chronicle of a Suicide
A fool’s suicide chronicle…
By: Julian Javier
Date: May 11, 2011 @ 8:52PM GMT +8
 

[The Fool]
Deprive me of light and of hope.
Now, come and give me a nice rope.
knot it into a noose.
make sure it’s not lose.
take a pick.
get a brick.
tie it on the other end.
say my last words before my life will end.
now get the brick and throw.
to the river located down below.

 

***woosh!***

 

[The Fool]
whoa!

 

[The Clock]
…1,2,3…

 

***SPLASH!***

 

[The Fool]
Wow, I’m sinking so fast and i’m choking.
My neck giving my lungs difficulty in breathing.
Finally, I’m dying.
It’s the end of my life’s long suffering.
I had a tough life never had a chance to be great.
I broke my parents’ hearts.
I lost half the part of my heart.
It’s all my fault anyway, so fuck it.
I wish I had a chance to change things but had no luck at it.

 

[The Invisible Guardian]
YOU HAVE A CHANCE BUT YOU THREW IT AWAY JUST NOW!

 

[The Fool]
what? huh? who was that voice?
Oh no, did i make a mistake???


wait! I’m dying!
NO! wait, somebody help me!
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

 

***everything went black***

 

[The Warden]
Ah! Fresh Meat!
*laughs sinisterly*

 

*the fool awakes*

 

[The Fool]
where am I? it’s so hot in here that i’m burning!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

 

[The Warden]
You’re in the plains of hell. in front of you are its gates.

 

[The Fool]
What the? hell?

 

[The Warden]
come with me!
*laughs sinisterly*
*drags the fool by the neck*

 

[The Fool]
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME GO!!! I DON’T WANT THIS!

 

[The Warden]
BUT YOU’RE ALREADY IN IT!!!
*throws the Fool into the river of the dead*
DIE you foolish man! oh, wait… i forgot, you cannot die here!
*laughs sinisterly*

 

[The Narrator]
And so The Fool deceived by his own ignorance suffered eternally…
He thought he could escape with death from reality…
Forever he burned wishing to die intently…
But sadly, he doesn’t… for his suffering is eternal and unending…
He exchanged his life that he thought was suffering for even more suffering…
Beyond redemption… Beyond Healing…
The man suffered amidst the land of tormenting…

 

Ending Haiku recited as the scene ends:

 

“The river carries…
Wails from the souls of the damned…
Eternal torment…”

 

Let's learn how to knot a noose! =)

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Archangel Azrael

Archangel Azrael
The Archangel of Death; The Grim Reaper
by: Julian Javier
Date: April 25, 2011 @ 1:48AM GMT+8
 

Laid to rest, bedridden, dying…
Your soul’s time is fast approaching…
With your last efforts to keep on breathing…
Flashing before your eyes is your life in the land of the living…

 

In his black book of life and death…
Where every record of your life from your first till your last breath…
Where all men’s names and deeds are kept…
For today’s bidding your name is all that’s left…

 

Now, He with wings of black is before you standing…
Waiting to escort your soul to its final place of resting…
Question is, will you be in the land of wailing and eternal suffering?
or will you be in the land of milk and honey forever hearing angels singing?

 

To escort you to your rightful place, forlorn or uplifting, is a must…
There will be no return, in these words you can trust…
Judgement shall be passed to both the righteous and the unjust…
There will be no exceptions, in these words you can trust…

"Judgement shall be passed to both the righteous and the unjust..."

“In your final hours… in the afterlife…
There is only black or white, yes or no, upward or downward…
There is no gray area, there is no maybe, there is no middle…
Heaven or Hell… That’s all there is to it…
Always remember that judgement shall be passed to both the righteous and the unjust…”
– Julian Javier on Life, Death, and the Afterlife

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Armageddonism

Armageddonism
Ideology of Chaos, Discord, and Malice; A Path to Self-Destruction
By: Julian Javier
Date: April 21, 2011 @ 4:35AM GMT +8
 

Graft and corruption…
Money for wars instead of children’s education…
The weak and the poor always subject to oppression…
A message brought by the emissaries of destruction disguised to cause dissension…

 

Democracy and justice cast into oblivion…
Bloodshed due to indifference, false belief, and religion…
The unjust conducting the symphony of destruction…
Omnicide using weapons of mass destruction…

 

Chaos, anarchy, and democide…
Love and understanding cast aside…
Worldwide turmoil, panic, and depression side by side…
Fear, hate, anger, the desire to kill, and suffering all inside!

 

Innate human greed and blood lust…
Gossip, betrayal, and mistrust…
A sea of blood creeping on the surface of earth’s crust…
To kill a brother is a must!

 

A desire to destroy and rebuild burns…
Moral lessons in each of the events that no one learns…
A never ending cycle of war and peace taking turns…
Armageddon as the prophets have discerned…

 

A world covered in blood, flames, and darkness…
Where everyone is consumed by power and madness…
Where the just are depressed with grief and sadness…
A wonderful world of Chaos, Discord, and Malice…

 

Satan is sitting pretty in his throne and he’s smiling…
Thinking…

 

All ye have been blindly faithful and loyal to me.
So, I shall reward all of thee!
Never ending pain and suffering that you wish awaits thee!
Bwahahahahahahaha!!! (Sinister Evil Laugh)

 

"We are so excite of Armageddon! We love to see destruction! hahaha"

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To the Slanderer!

A Message to that Puny Little Slanderer
By: Julian Javier
Date: March 8, 2011 @ 2:15PM GMT +8

I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes

I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes

This one is dedicated to the slanderous commenter yesterday with the email address of maverick.patsi@yahoo.com and the IPs of 120.28.64.75 and 120.28.64.76 you know who you are.
I marked your slanderous words as spam sucker!
By the way thank you for making me notice that comments here in my blog are automatically approved. haha t(^_^t) now i will never again be victimized by likes of you!
You don’t have any idea what happened so shut the fuck up and bug off and read this so you can be educated you stupid idiot monkey!

To the filthy puny little slanderer:

Sure! Sure!
Blame it all on me!
Disgust me and Hate me!
Spread more bad gossip about me!
Use your filthy bickering tongue and spit on me!

You think you are wise.
Go and spread your filthy lies!
Patch up the truth and take sides!
People who love me will know where the truth resides!

You say the truths I always deny…
Ask anyone I know here and see if there is truth in your shameful lie!

I know I still have my son whom I so still dearly love!
I know I once had a wife whom I once loved!

She disrespected me for a lot of times…
She even disrespected my one and only mother in my lifetime!

My mother who is 65 years old who only showed compassion and concern…
A mother who tried to teach us the ways of a partnership but she refused to learn…

I even came to a decision to leave my mother living on a separate house all alone…
Only to suffice my once wife’s desire to stand-alone!
I disregarded thinking how old my mom was for this wife’s desire to have a home…
with only the three of us me, her, and my son alone!

At first I was happy that we came to a compromise…
I thought the decision I made was truly wise…

but then her and mom met again on the road’s steps…
and in front of me she lacked to show the appropriate respect!

She did not talk until my mom called her thrice…
She did not even look my mom in the eyes!
In my mind at least show my mom respect and be polite…
at least give her back the smile she gave you under the bright sunny light!

Even after that lack of respect…
I was still willing to forgive her in retrospect…

But then what got me was she was trying to avoid our son…
trying to avoid our son from his loving grandmom!

Is it right to say to your husband’s loving mother not to come to her grandson’s birthday?
Is it right to say to your husband’s loving mother to bug off and stay away?
You think the news never came to me?
You think my mom reported that to me?
I ain’t deaf, neither blind, and definitely not a mute
It was a friend who shared that text message that showed me the truth.
Is that right in any way?
Fuck you! That definitely ain’t right in any way!

You can’t blame me for I did not lack in forgiveness
I forgave but she still was so relentless

I forgave a hundred times
until my mercy was put to the edge of the line.

I know i made mistakes in the past
I ain’t perfect but surely I am not the same as the person whom you possibly knew in the past.

I tremble with indignation at every injustice
I do not fear your words of hate and malice

You are a filthy little rat!
You smell like shit stuck on a dead man’s gut!
To me you are a small stinky little snot!

I am angry at her and to all of you who spread slanderous gossips against me!
But still I shall forgive you and forget all this if you only say sorry.
Fuck you and burn in your “Hell” that you always preach in your church if you don’t want to!
I ain’t forcing you!
Unlike in your religion who force people to believe in all of you!
force belief that can’t even be seen in the likes of you!
I can never be compared to your filthy clan and specially you!

SLANDERER! FILTHY DISGUSTING SLANDERER!

I’ll burn you tied up inside your house when I meet you!
hahaha!

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I Don’t Wanna Change the World
By: Ozzy Osbourne

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A Writer’s Weapon

A Writer’s Weapon
An Outcry
By: Julian Javier
Date: February 27, 2011 @ 9:45PM GMT +8

My pen is more mightier than any knife, any blade, or any sword!
The words that come from it are sharper than any edge of any sharpened sword!

The pen is the weapon of my choice.
It shall be the medium of my unheard voice.

I shall make use of my weapon and continue to whet its edge.
Today, I make you this solemn pledge.

I shall take aim and strike at those people with words that do not match their deeds!
To those hypocrites who take advantage of the hopes of those in need!
To those people feeling important with unimportant words and mindless deeds!

In parchment or in paper.
At any given point in time, be it in January till December.
Be it using the keys of typewriters or of computers.
Even if I write in the dark in many of those ungodly hours.

My words shall be a weapon!
To spark the fire of the oppressed and wake their hearts to a liberating rebellion!
My words shall be louder than the growl of a mighty lion!
So loud that it’ll be far reaching, that it’ll reach the edge of this universe that is infinite and unending.

There shall be hardship and there shall be difficulty, with all that, I shall definitely agree.
As long as they have faith, hope, love, and stay with me through all the hardships and all the difficulties,
Let me say, that with my words I shall guide the weak and the oppressed to their sovereign victory.

With my pen, I shall bring forth justice and aid in defending those who are oppressed.
To give hope and light to those who are depressed.
To give strength to those who are weak.
To give boldness to those who are meek.
With a great feeling of love and continuous efforts to help those in need.

For I cannot just stand in silence and neglect.
While I watch those oppressors oppress those people whom I wish to protect.

My pen is more mightier than any knife, any blade, or any sword!
The words that come from it are sharper than any edge of any sharpened sword!


Pen of the Old Days

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