A Sudden Rush

A Sudden Rush
An Unorthodox Choka Poem of a Euphoric Torment…
A Story of a Soul who found an Interim Happiness, Slowly Fading Away…
By: Julian Corvinus Javier
Date: October 1, 2011 @ 8:16PM GMT +8
 

Rushing through my veins…
A torrent of vehemence…

 

My pain dissipates…
A renewed vigour once more…

 

Keeping me alive…
In the moment of pure bliss…

 

And within myself…
Fusing with my ebb and flow…
Swarming my senses…
A deluge of ideas…
A frenzied influx of thoughts…

 

My spirit reveals…
What I can’t see through the haze…
Clear moments, so ecstatic…
My soul slowly oozing out…
Every drop of life within…

 

Through all provisions…
Moments of infinity…
All vain facades..
And interim nirvana…
I’m flourishing through torment…

 

Calmly I’m fading…
Converging with euphoria…
Through life’s destined end…

 


 

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A Broken Soul

A Broken Soul
Random Scribblings of a Broken Soul
By: Julian Javier
Date: May 18, 2011 10:18AM @GMT +8
 

A soul brutally torn…
A life suddenly subject to scorn…

 

Thought to forever be forlorn…
And never again be reborn…

 

Set to forever mourn…
Unable to fulfil what was sworn…

 

Cast aside and rend asunder…
Downed by one blunder…

 

Desiring to bury the past to down under…
Sanity and insanity falters…

 

A swig of vodka…
A hit of smoke…
Loneliness and hopelessness…
Eating out the heart and bringing utter darkness…

 

Fear feeding the hate inside that is brooding…
Hate churning the anger from within…
Anger fuelling the flames of suffering…
Suffering tormenting the soul from within…

 

Left alone and forsaken…
The broken one exiled to utter ruin…

 

A Soul Sundered


 

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Perfect For You

Perfect for you…
Will you let me try to be the man perfect for you?
By: Julian Javier
Date: May 18, 2011 @ 2:01AM GMT +8
 

Bread will not fill me…
Water will not quench me…
Even my cigarettes will not understand me…
For only you can complete me…

 

From the moment your eyes met mine…
I said to myself “Oh God, I wish you’re mine”…
Even in the darkness you shine…
Bringing colors to this black and white heart of mine…

 

I long for that alluring glimmer…
found only from your beautiful eyes…
I long for your lovely smile…
that is as gorgeous as the sunrise…

 

I long for the gentleness and softness…
found only from your luscious lips…
I long for the warm breathing sensation…
found only from your nostrils..

 

I want to feel your smoothness…
from your hands of divine beauty…
I want to feel your frailty…
and the warmth from your body…

 

Every day I think of you…
Every night I dream of you…
Every time I close my eyes I see you…
Like your smile has been etched on my mind like a tattoo…

 

I’ll never stop thinking…
I’ll never stop longing…
I’ll never stop dreaming…
Of you, only for you…

 

To me you are perfect and my heart knows it’s true…
I want to show you love that is true…
Not in vain nor for granted… unlike what others had done to you…
Will you let me try to be the perfect man for you?

 

Here I am writing my heart out with all my passion…
With prayers that my ink will someday catch your attention…
Maybe someday in your mind my name will be a mention…
Feel my heart in my words written with a loving fashion…

 

To me you are perfect and I knows it’s true…
I want to try and be the perfect man for you…

 

Perfect... Just like the Cherry Blossom...


 

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The Disdained Child

The Disdained Child
The Child of Jealousy and Hate
By: Julian Javier
Date: May 12, 2011 @ 10:47PM GMT +8
 

I hate you… I hate them… I hate the world…

 

Sick and tired…
Empty and dried…

 

A child born of jealousy that became hate…
A bastard that carries a another’s namesake…
One who grew up with everyone’s hate…
The disturbed one hated for his namesake…
The one born of a different mother…
The one born of a different father…

 

The unwanted… The black sheep…
The scape goat.. The misjudged…

 

I am angry…
So called siblings hate me…
So called family doesn’t like me…
So called friends always betray me…
So called lovers derogate me…

 

for all i know, they all want me dead…
for all i know, they all want a platter set with my head…
for all i know, they want to spread my ground guts on a bread…
feed it to dogs which are stray bred…
and wash their hands with my blood that’s crimson red…

 

fuck it! i don’t care and I won’t argue…
I won’t argue though I immensely hate them too…
I want to strangle them all too till they turn blue…
and massacre them all intently and violently like a rampaging grue…

 

But i won’t do that…
I can’t do that…
How could i possibly do that…
Their my loved ones, it’s a fact, and i hate that…

 

Though I hated…

 

Before i hated…
I tried to love…
Even if I hated…
I still loved…
Though i hated…
I just need to be loved…
Though i hated…
I am just looking for your love…

 

Why can’t they give me something so simple?
To give love to a brother and family member of their own flesh and blood…
Why can’t they give me something so trivial?
To give love to this friend and lover called me…

 

Just accept me for who i am that’s all i have asked…
For in your hate all my life i had basked…
For all this time i have seen through you who is masked…
Be with me and accept me, is that too much ask?

 

Now my mind is split in two…
One says to keep on hating you…
One says to keep on loving you…
My mind is in chaos because of what you showed me and do…

 

You don’t understand me…
You try to control me…
You stab me behind my back and disdain me…
You can’t even simply respect me being me…

 

I hate you… i hate them…
i hate myself too… i hate the the world and what you all do…

 

I am the unaccepted, the unwanted
I am the hate child…

 

Why? I know.
Because you think our mother loved me more than she did you.
Because you think my father fathered me better than your father who fathered you.
Because you think our father loved me more than he did you.
Because you think my mother mothered me better than your mother who mothered you.
Because you think I’m better than you and you can’t accept it.
Because you can’t stand that I have become a man.
Or maybe because you are just that childish.

 

You’re wrong from what I see.
You’re spiteful mind is clouded with envy.
They all loved us equally.
You just refused to see.
No one is better than others.
That’s how they see us, our mothers and our fathers.

 

Though I do some things better than you…
It doesn’t mean that I am better than you…
I have my specialties and you have yours too…

 

I loved you though you hated me.
I respected you though you always have belittled me.

 

Don’t worry I don’t hate you completely for what you did to me.
I just hate you that much, so don’t misunderstand me.
Don’t worry I understand you completely.
This hate I feel for thee is nothing compared to the love and respect that I show thee.
It’s not a ruse you see.
Though I hate thee I still love thee.

 

It’s hard to understand i know.
Let’s reconcile when we meet in hell down below.

 

Losing Grip

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A Murder of Poems

Dear Readers,

 

For better navigation, I have decided to make a table of contents for my poetry. I especially coded this for all of you who appreciate my poetry. In this table you can view each and every one of my poems in one single click on each title. I have categorised my poetry as well so you could check out the genre one by one to suit your taste in poetry. For those who are looking for Japanese Haiku, Tanka, and Chōka style poems, I have included indications on which ones are of the Japanese Haiku, Tanka, and Chōka style. The order of the listings are from recent to previous from top to bottom. You can treat this as a “Thank You” for your support for my literature. I will update this sticky post every time I make a new one. I will make this a sticky post so every time you view my site you can see this table immediately on top all other posts. Enjoy reading!!!

 

Sincerely,

 

Julian Javier
The Red Raven

 

The Red Raven’s Poetry

The Red Raven’s Poetry


Sentimentals Romantics Darkness Anger Special
The Clown Portrait My Love, My Lady… The Hunter (Japanese Chōka Style) The Eyes of Fire Sirang Plaka
(Tagalog Poem/No Translation)
Sightless Allow Me The Forlorn Heart The Disdained Child The Lurker
(Japanese Haiku Style)
Sea Shell Sounds
(Japanese Haiku Style)
Just the Two of Us Pestilence and Plague Against You ~ Corvinus ~ Chapter 1: The Turning
My Sound
(Japanese Haiku Style)
One Who Makes You Smile Helter Skelter To the Slanderer! Part-2 The Northern Territory
Plea Perfect For You Fallen To the Slanderer! Part-1 Wishing Happy Birthday
(Japanese Tanka Style)
Blocked A Walk Under City Lights A False Hope A Writer’s Weapon Ruth’s Birthday Letter
As The Rain Arrives
(Japanese Tanka Style)
Your Kiss
(Japanese Tanka Style)
A Sudden Rush
(Japanese Chōka Style)
Eto sa inyo!
(Tagalog Poem/No Translation)
Treating Women…
Fire Water
(Japanese Tanka Style)
That Star, My Senses… Dragon Breath The Protector
Rainy Days
(Japanese Haiku Style)
The Summer Wind Behind the Walls of Madness
(Latin Poem/With English Translation)
The Sniper
Rice I’ll Catch You Helpless
(Japanese Tanka Style)
Mr.Gymkhana Man
Cherry Blossom Bliss
(Japanese Tanka Style)
Thoughts… The Red Raven’s Song
(Official Blog Poem)
Distinct and Vivid
Clouds
(Japanese Tanka Style)
The Man that I’ve Become An Unkindness of Ravens
(Japanese Haiku Style)
Rush Hour Part-1
(Japanese Tanka Style)
Beyond Silent Wars The Light Amidst My Darkness
Summer Sakura
(Japanese Haiku Style)
Above Fading Nothing
Summer Nights
(Japanese Haiku Style)
The One and Only One Into The Gallows I Walk
Summer Shower
(Japanese Haiku Style)
The Prayer of Endurance Loot the Corpse
Mountain Dew
(Japanese Tanka Style)
Always in a Dream
(Spanish Poem/With English Translation)
The Exile
I Just Wanna RocknRoll I Dream of a Woman
(Italian Poem/With English Translation)
A Broken Soul
The Musician My Heart… Conquest
(Japanese Tanka Style)
Writing… Long Time, No See… The Undying
Lamental Block Together in a Dream The Streets of Pain
(Japanese Chōka Style)
Perfect… Chronicle of a Suicide
In My Dreams Famine
(Japanese Tanka Style)
Archangel Azrael
Desolate
(Japanese Chōka Style)
Fields of the Fallen
Armageddonism
Fear
The Dark

Wishing You a Happy Birthday

Wishing You a Happy Birthday
A Tanka Poem for today’s birthday girl, Ms. Ruth Rollan
By: Julian Javier
Date: March 29, 2011 @ 12:00MN GMT +8

Up above my roof
Tonight stars brightly twinkle
Patiently I wait
Searching for a shooting star
to wish you happy birthday

I'll catch you a shooting star tonight...

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Quiero ser Siempre en un Sueño (I want to be always in a dream)

Quiero ser Siempre en un Sueño(I want to be always in a dream)
By: Julian Javier A.K.A. The Cyber Mushroom
Date: February 7, 2011
(translation on the bottom)

Quien es usted?
Cual es su nombre?
I siempre te veo en mis sueños.
Me pregunto quién es usted.
No puedo dejar de pensar en ti.
Quiero ser siempre en un sueño con usted.

Sus ojos! Oh esos ojos tentador! Que son tan profundas que me hipnotizan cuando me miras.
Su pelo tan suave como la seda.
Su piel se ve tan suave.
Tus labios son tan exquisitos.
Me pregunto que se siente al mirar fijamente a los ojos al tocar tu pelo, acariciar su piel, y besando sus labios.

Cuanto tiempo se tarda para que yo finalmente conocer el verdadero tu?
Hasta cuando sufro desaparecidos y que necesitan a alguien que nunca he conocido?
Hasta cuando me muera de hambre y pergamino en esta hambre y sed de ti?

Me pregunto quien es usted.
No puedo dejar de pensar en ti.
Quiero ser siempre en un sueño con usted.

In English:
Who are you?
What is your name?
I always see you in my dreams.
I wonder who you are.
I can’t stop thinking about you.
I wish to be forever in a dream with you.

Your eyes! Oh those tempting eyes! They are so deep that they hypnotize me when you stare.
Your hair as soft as silk.
Your skin looks so mild.
Your lips are so luscious.
I wonder what it feels like to look at you straight in the eyes while touching your hair, caressing your skin, and kissing your lips.

How long shall it take for me to finally meet the real you?
How long shall i suffer missing and needing someone i have never met?
How long shall i die of hunger and parchment in this hunger and thirst for you?

I wonder who you are.
I can’t stop thinking about you.
I wish to be forever in a dream with you.

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