One Who Makes You Smile

One Who Makes You Smile
I hope someday you’ll let me…
By: Julian Javier
Date: May 21, 2011 @ 2:44AM GMT +8
 

The Night Sky


 

As I lay alone in my bed gazing at the stars tonight…
I remember how your smile shines like starlight…
As pretty as the stars in the sky shining so bright…
In these dark, cold, and lonely nights…

 

I’d do anything in my power to see that wonderful smile…
Write you poems, even swim the length of the River Nile…
Oh how I wish I was the camera in your mobile…
So, I could capture your smile and always make you smile…

 

I wanna be the man who makes you laugh…
Never the man who makes you frown and makes you sad…
Never the man who breaks your heart and makes you cry…
I wanna be the man who makes you smile…

 

Will you let me be the man who makes you smile?

 

I hope someday you’ll let me…

 

I hope you are not just another dream to me…
I hope you are my future, my destiny…

 

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The Disdained Child

The Disdained Child
The Child of Jealousy and Hate
By: Julian Javier
Date: May 12, 2011 @ 10:47PM GMT +8
 

I hate you… I hate them… I hate the world…

 

Sick and tired…
Empty and dried…

 

A child born of jealousy that became hate…
A bastard that carries a another’s namesake…
One who grew up with everyone’s hate…
The disturbed one hated for his namesake…
The one born of a different mother…
The one born of a different father…

 

The unwanted… The black sheep…
The scape goat.. The misjudged…

 

I am angry…
So called siblings hate me…
So called family doesn’t like me…
So called friends always betray me…
So called lovers derogate me…

 

for all i know, they all want me dead…
for all i know, they all want a platter set with my head…
for all i know, they want to spread my ground guts on a bread…
feed it to dogs which are stray bred…
and wash their hands with my blood that’s crimson red…

 

fuck it! i don’t care and I won’t argue…
I won’t argue though I immensely hate them too…
I want to strangle them all too till they turn blue…
and massacre them all intently and violently like a rampaging grue…

 

But i won’t do that…
I can’t do that…
How could i possibly do that…
Their my loved ones, it’s a fact, and i hate that…

 

Though I hated…

 

Before i hated…
I tried to love…
Even if I hated…
I still loved…
Though i hated…
I just need to be loved…
Though i hated…
I am just looking for your love…

 

Why can’t they give me something so simple?
To give love to a brother and family member of their own flesh and blood…
Why can’t they give me something so trivial?
To give love to this friend and lover called me…

 

Just accept me for who i am that’s all i have asked…
For in your hate all my life i had basked…
For all this time i have seen through you who is masked…
Be with me and accept me, is that too much ask?

 

Now my mind is split in two…
One says to keep on hating you…
One says to keep on loving you…
My mind is in chaos because of what you showed me and do…

 

You don’t understand me…
You try to control me…
You stab me behind my back and disdain me…
You can’t even simply respect me being me…

 

I hate you… i hate them…
i hate myself too… i hate the the world and what you all do…

 

I am the unaccepted, the unwanted
I am the hate child…

 

Why? I know.
Because you think our mother loved me more than she did you.
Because you think my father fathered me better than your father who fathered you.
Because you think our father loved me more than he did you.
Because you think my mother mothered me better than your mother who mothered you.
Because you think I’m better than you and you can’t accept it.
Because you can’t stand that I have become a man.
Or maybe because you are just that childish.

 

You’re wrong from what I see.
You’re spiteful mind is clouded with envy.
They all loved us equally.
You just refused to see.
No one is better than others.
That’s how they see us, our mothers and our fathers.

 

Though I do some things better than you…
It doesn’t mean that I am better than you…
I have my specialties and you have yours too…

 

I loved you though you hated me.
I respected you though you always have belittled me.

 

Don’t worry I don’t hate you completely for what you did to me.
I just hate you that much, so don’t misunderstand me.
Don’t worry I understand you completely.
This hate I feel for thee is nothing compared to the love and respect that I show thee.
It’s not a ruse you see.
Though I hate thee I still love thee.

 

It’s hard to understand i know.
Let’s reconcile when we meet in hell down below.

 

Losing Grip

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A Writer’s Weapon

A Writer’s Weapon
An Outcry
By: Julian Javier
Date: February 27, 2011 @ 9:45PM GMT +8

My pen is more mightier than any knife, any blade, or any sword!
The words that come from it are sharper than any edge of any sharpened sword!

The pen is the weapon of my choice.
It shall be the medium of my unheard voice.

I shall make use of my weapon and continue to whet its edge.
Today, I make you this solemn pledge.

I shall take aim and strike at those people with words that do not match their deeds!
To those hypocrites who take advantage of the hopes of those in need!
To those people feeling important with unimportant words and mindless deeds!

In parchment or in paper.
At any given point in time, be it in January till December.
Be it using the keys of typewriters or of computers.
Even if I write in the dark in many of those ungodly hours.

My words shall be a weapon!
To spark the fire of the oppressed and wake their hearts to a liberating rebellion!
My words shall be louder than the growl of a mighty lion!
So loud that it’ll be far reaching, that it’ll reach the edge of this universe that is infinite and unending.

There shall be hardship and there shall be difficulty, with all that, I shall definitely agree.
As long as they have faith, hope, love, and stay with me through all the hardships and all the difficulties,
Let me say, that with my words I shall guide the weak and the oppressed to their sovereign victory.

With my pen, I shall bring forth justice and aid in defending those who are oppressed.
To give hope and light to those who are depressed.
To give strength to those who are weak.
To give boldness to those who are meek.
With a great feeling of love and continuous efforts to help those in need.

For I cannot just stand in silence and neglect.
While I watch those oppressors oppress those people whom I wish to protect.

My pen is more mightier than any knife, any blade, or any sword!
The words that come from it are sharper than any edge of any sharpened sword!


Pen of the Old Days

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